|
Post by inny on Dec 8, 2016 13:59:54 GMT
alright, this'll just be my testing and storage thread!! feel free to track and such!
|
|
|
Post by inny on Dec 8, 2016 16:40:08 GMT
Come on baby, This ain't the last time that I'll see your face, You said you'd find someone to take my place You're intertwining your soul with somebody else. I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone, and then leaving with somebody else
|
|
|
Post by evergreen on Dec 8, 2016 18:39:38 GMT
[div align="center"][table][tbody][tr][td][div style="border:5px solid #D1D1D3;background:url(https://67.media.tumblr.com/baaa1408877b6d0915e0fc005e7ee6e2/tumblr_mzkdhgiuH71t0bv8to1_500.gif) center;height:100px;width:100px;"][/div][/td][td][div style="border:5px solid #D1D1D3;background:url(https://68.media.tumblr.com/c8d70b7fee532cf5baa26f912c710666/tumblr_mzidcxVTIP1qem0zfo1_500.gif) center;height:100px;width:100px;"][/div][/td][td][div style="border:5px solid #D1D1D3;background:url(https://media.giphy.com/media/Uj6oFAsjPYNdC/giphy.gif) left;height:100px;width:100px;"][/div][/td][/tr][/tbody][/table] [div style="border:0px solid #000;text-align:justify;color:black;font-family:georgia;font-size:11px;width:330px;letter-spacing:0px;text-transform:lowercase;"]text
[b][font color="#FFFFCC"]"speech"[/font][/b]
[/div] [/div]
|
|
|
Post by inny on Mar 27, 2017 14:10:49 GMT
fare knew that selector’s mother had been through worse than this, knew that she had had cancer and come out on top (she didn’t know the specifics, wasn’t aware of the price tama paid) so fare knew that she it in her to fight this. The question was whether or not she wanted to. Did she want to eat and regain her strength? Did she want to get rest? Did she even want to get better? She wasn’t sure anymore.
trigger warning for brief mention of suicide here The sickness had been progressing fast this time, not like last time back in the other windclan: a racking cough that shook her whole being, her bones were protruding as she rapidly lost weight, she was constantly switching between hot and cold, and she was almost never able to fall asleep and stay asleep. It was tearing her apart piece by piece, ripping her up from the inside, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. After all, she was only able to sit and watch, because she knew the outcome: death. It would be a slow descent into agony, and then when she couldn’t take it anymore, she would take her own life.
She had known she was getting sick a couple days prior to when it had struck her down and rendered her unable to leave her bed. It had come out in her mood, in the way she handled things and spoke, how she reacted to situations with such violent rage. She took on a more dangerous aura, more predator-like. That had always been the first sign of this disease, so she had holed herself up in her cabin to avoid hurting anyone. It wasn’t contagious but she was worried about how her clanmates would take it: seeing their normally optimistic and kind leader reduced to a pile of bones that snarled at any moving object.
All this just meant that she’d had more than enough time to worry about everyone. Concern dripped from every pore, making her shudder.
The first one her thoughts gravitated to was ruben. How was he holding up out there, outside these four walls? Was he okay? She always seemed to be fretting over him in some part of her mind, whether it be the forefront or some corner. He seemed so sad and lonely and lost and like he just kept it all inside to where no one could see. She thought that she could maybe help him, if the circumstances were different. Maybe in a different lifetime, she could have been his mother and raised him to be a light and be brave and to love because love was the most important thing. Fare’s own mother had taught her that and sel’s mom had drilled it into the young canine. Fare just wished she could impart some of her hope and strength to him. She wished he saw how amazing he truly was. She wasn’t really angry at him for not being around, she just expected more from someone who had been on a pedestal in her mind. “you’re so brave, ruben. I wish i could be like you.”
Leo. they were a quiet individual most of the time, but fare would trust them with her life. She… she just hoped that they trusted her. She hadn’t put them in the advisor position because she wanted to, she had put them there because she knew they would give insightful input and help the clan. And now, they were a dawnchaser, an even bigger responsibility. Fare hoped they could handle it, she hoped she hadn’t just put too much onto their shoulders. She knew they worried a lot, and she didn’t want that. She just hoped they forgave her for leaving circ in charge while she was gone. “don’t ever give up, leo, okay? You can always do something if you put your mind to it.”
She found tears welling up in her eyes as let her brain rest on this next individual: circusclown. Evergreen had told selector stories of how circ had stolen redlipstick from her, had begged tama to kill him, had led the exiles. Fare just thought he was misunderstood. He must feel so afraid and lonesome all the time in order to be drinking so often. (fare knew that she got paranoid whenever she drank.) honestly, she thought he was incredibly strong-willed, ferocious, and enduring. She felt like he wanted to help others but was maybe too scared by his past mistakes to do so. But at least he had family. If nothing else, he had his family. “i-i know everyone says you’re bad, but i know you aren’t. You’re so wholly good that i’m jealous. I’m jealous that you have family here and you form relationships, and i’m just sitting in the dust, lost. I know you’ll never hear these words, but i admire you a lot. You’re the kind of person i wanted to be, once. I went to blizzardclan from time to time and you were there and i don’t care what ev says, you’re a damn good guy, circ.”
Her thoughts were swirling, little sobs being wrenched from her throat every now and then as she thought on. Belladonna. “belladonna, i know you and i haven’t interacted much but you’re like a daughter to me, and i’d die for you in an instant if i had to. I wish you knew that, but there’s no way i could every say it to your face. Just remember to slow down and take a breather every once in a while. It helps, okay?” she murmured, ears going flat against her head. She had high hopes for the young medic in training, and if ruben didn’t step up to train her, fare herself would fill that position and make sure bella knew what to do in case of any emergency.
Something about shuuya felt familiar. Selector had been told many times by a reminiscent evergreen of a male named kamen, and that’s who this individual reminded her of. “you’re hiding something, i can sense it. But i think that deep down, you’re really funny and happy. You remind me of someone selector’s mother used to talk about before everything went to shit. I think you’re pretty okay, shuuya.”
Twinruins was a bit of a mystery, appearing out of nowhere and gasping out a name that sounded something akin to ‘ship’ when the other had come encroaching upon shadowclan soil. He made her recall memories of when she was human, of someone curled up in the shape of a comma with a coffee mug held firmly in his hands and his lips twitching up every so often as he read a book silently. Twin was something nostalgic, something beautiful and mysterious, an enigma that fare couldn’t quite piece together. “i think you’re scared, twinruins.” she stated to the air in front of her, voice quiet. She felt like a wind-tossed thing in a sea of emotions. “i’m scared too, so i can understand if you are. I think you’re scared of being alone, just like me. I think we could learn to get along, if i ever met you face to face instead of just hearing about you through the grapevine. I think we could be friends.”
With that, the girl would stay quiet for a few moments more before getting to her paws with a pained noise. She shouldered her way out of her cabin and stared up at the stars before laying back down outside. It helped to get out of her cabin, away from the smell of sickness. Pretty soon, she was asleep, legs quivering every so often.
it had started out as a calm night, the wind blowing through the carnival, the lights up above all aglow, the ferris wheel spinning as the sound of laughter carried to ev’s ears. However, the atmosphere did nothing to soothe her thoughts, her soul, the anger waiting just inside her being. The wrath had been there for as long as she could remember, but she had always hidden it surprisingly well considering everything that had happened to her. It had only come to light a few times, under certain circumstances.
Things had been normal for Selector. She had tired of HawkClan’s slow pace, tired of feeling adrift in her own life. She had decided to go see her mother, in order to inform her of her choice to leave HawkClan. She didn’t expect to find someone who was becoming more angry by the day, someone who wanted to hurt another being if they so much as looked at her. And now Sel was here, bringing her the news of this next failure and her mother spun, eyes locking on her daughter.
"so now you’re gonna be a runaway, a dropout? I thought i taught you better, selector! You gonna be like winterfell and run away from me, from your home and your clan just like she did? What a way to live! Things get slow and boring and so you leave? Nice, you fucking idiot!" Evergreen would snarl, the anger immediately coming to the surface and making sel’s mother a fearsome and dangerous thing, a beast to be reckoned with. Ev no longer felt sadness, but a heat that was all too familiar. It tore through her like an explosion, busting through windows and devouring everything in an instantaneous blast.
gore warning starting here In slow motion, she could see her paw swinging towards Selector, claws extended. The noise it made when it connected with her daughter’s face was reminiscent of a crack, a branch being irreparably broken. Sel felt her jaw go slack right after the impact and then pain burst forth, lightning hot and sizzling. Oh god, oh god, oh god, what had she been thinking by coming here?
Ev and Selector reeled away from each other, Sel’s mind trying to take her to another place, another time. Times where she spent time climbing on roofs, back when she was reaching for the rafters, back when she had been happy, back when she watched the sun rise and the stars fade, back when she was young, back when she was happy, she was happy, she had been so happy then. She just wanted to go back. Ev was pinning her ears back and curling her lips once more in a snarl.
They were each frozen for a moment, and then both leaped forward at each other, growls pouring from their throats as the muscles under their skin rippled. Sel’s teeth met Ev’s face, her throat at the same time as her claws ripped into Ev’s side. They were two warring beasts hellbent on destroying one another. Ev went for the other’s eyes, the soft underbelly of her stomach, looking to gut her like a fish. In defense, Sel twisted away, leaving ragged lines in her mother’s side and tearing a sizeable chunk of her cheek and neck in the process. She wasn’t fast enough, though, and a thud could be heard as she slammed into the ground, bright red blood rushing from her mutilated stomach. ”mom! Mom, please, stop! I’m not like winterfell, i won’t leave you!” the girl pleaded, but she could only watch as Ev crept towards her, blood dripping from her ribcage and facial features.
Sel didn’t want to hurt her mother, but she did the only thing she could. She got to her feet and sprang towards Evergreen, lips drawn back in a grimace of pain as she went for her mom’s back. There was a brief commotion as something vital was cleaved from Ev’s body, and a grunt as the five year old hit the ground.
Sel stepped back, dragging a white, feathered mass that had crimson splattered near the base where it had been attached to Ev. The older canine was currently laying on the ground, breath heaving in and out of her lungs, her body shaking as rage drained out. Terror replaced it, agony tagging along for the ride. She saw Sel move away, drop the ivory-colored object and Ev realized, with a dim sense of numbness, that it was one of her wings. One of her wings was gone, just leaving a hole where it had been, white bone sticking out from the ragged space. ”look what you’ve done to me! Do you see this?!” Ev said, shock moving and twisting around her brain, clouding her thoughts and actions. She was no longer fierce and full of wrath, but shivering and vulnerable. Sel had taken something vital, something crucial from her, and she didn’t know what to do now. So she just layed there.
Ev stayed still on the dirt as her daughter stepped through the puddle of blood forming around her, stayed still as Selector whispered words of sad remorse, stayed still as Sel limped off without a glance back at her mom, and she stayed still as the scarlet liquid ran from her body. She had never wanted anything more in this moment than to kill her daughter for taking away her flight, her freedom.
She just wanted to be normal and this was what she got? Well damn her if she was going to sit here and bleed out. She had to get help, and quickly, or else it could be bye bye Evergreen. So, she struggled to her paws and made her way back towards her home. And somewhere else, Selector was already far off, limping heavily back to Hawkclan, calling out for Shining and Littlepaw and colin. She would be alright, she promised herself. She’d make it somehow.
The dream stopped abruptly, seeming to fast forward so there were three beings there instead of just one. Fare whined, very softly, in the back of her throat. This wasn’t her, this wasn’t her, this wasn’t her! She wanted to wake up but it was impossible now.
of course. of course it was him who was the first to show up. it had always been him, and it always would be. "colin," she whispered, voice cracking, her form lurching forward. it was always going to be him, for every day for the rest of her life. he was the first one she thought about when she woke and the last one she thought about when she curled up to go to sleep, the one she wished was next her to sing her to sleep and be there when nightmares woke her up. she wanted him to be there for her and comfort her and not ever leave her. she wanted.... she wanted him, and that was a strange concept for her because she had never felt this way about anyone or anything and now she did. it was messing with her head.
do you know i dream of you sometimes? a dozen images flashed through her mind as soon as her mind processed this thought, all filtered in a dream-like haziness: them curled up together just dozing, them running away from a swarm of bees that selector had knocked from a tree - it was terrifying and exhilarating and they were both smiling and breathless by the time they'd stopped being pursued -, him teaching her how to read, them collapsing on the beach after a long day and letting the water tug at their fur ever so gently. She had dreamt so much of him that it was hard to come back and see that he wasn’t like that in real life. Would he ever be that way?
She hadn’t meant to disappear without saying anything but she hadn’t felt right anywhere, so she had decided to wander around. She had thought that a clean break would be best for everyone than going and saying ‘hey i’m gonna leave for a few days ok bye’. It wouldn’t have been fair to them. But oh if she had known what it had done to colin, she would have stayed. She would have stayed for him. With him.
Her vision was starting to get blurry, tears coming to her eyes. Here he was, his voice calling her name before his form came rushing at her, crystalline liquid spilling from his own eyes. He was being so gentle and he was putting bandaids on her as if that would help and oh goddess she was sobbing now, crying because how could he be so kind and tender? It was these actions that made her break down, leaning forward to put her face against his shoulder. "i’m so sorry, colin, i’m sorry!" she whimpered, beginning to shake.
She loved him. The realization hit her before she was ready to accept it. She wasn’t even deserving of love, so what she doing going around loving him? What was she thinking?
"I've got it from here, Colin."
Shining’s voice thankfully broke into her thoughts and she let herself be guided onto the ground and closed her eyes as shining went to work, trying not to breathe too hard in case it messed him up. "i’m sorry, i’m sorry this happened, she just went crazy on me, i’m sorry you guys, i just…. You said ichi’s coming, right?” she murmured softly, doing her best to keep the pain out of her voice. It was gonna be okay, right? Right. Ichi would be here soon and she could explain everything to him and tell him she was glad he was back and hug him.
Fare managed to wrench herself out of the dream and she lay there, trying to catch her breath. What was wrong with her? Why was she having these dreams? Maybe… no, that wasn’t possible. But stil…. No. fare pushed the thought out of her mind and gulped another lungful of air, squeezing her eyes shut. She’d be okay now that she was awake, right?
|
|
|
Post by inny on Nov 28, 2017 2:31:17 GMT
Sometimes, a series of events led to one’s downfall. Their demise. Ronan had experienced that plenty of times, where the road to riches turned into one of ruin. An unfortunate series of events was what had led him here in the first place. He had faded away from the loosely formed group. It felt like years passed before he came out of the horrible reclusive state he was in, and even though it hadn’t been, so much had changed. Price had ghosted, some strangers had taken over the group that he had once called home, and Kavinsky was nowhere to be seen. So, he had left. Lynch gathered his belongings and got the hell out of there.
The massive canine had never dreamed that he would stumble upon something magical, not after he had lost Cabeswater. But sure enough, he had reached a place where the boundary between this world and another was thinnest. His whole frame had buzzed with joy, mostly because he knew. He knew the feeling of the other world and what it would hold. Mostly because he had come from it.
Things inside the other world had changed, everyone had scattered and it seemed like he had been gone for a very long time. His first thought had been to get home, find out what was what. The sprint through the woods was a short one, although littered with curses due to sore feet being poked and stabbed. Home, home, home, his mind was chanting, but what he saw when he was greeted with the sight wasn't what he had been expecting. He had been expecting it to be the same, for everything to be tidy and well kept.
It wasn't.
The property was in a state of disarray and the dreary grey light from the cloudy sky made it look all the more… desolate. No. No, what? Adam was supposed to be here, keeping up with everything! Opal was going to come running out of the house at any moment now and proclaim that her father had finally come home. Right?
Ronan waited. He waited and stared and eventually, as dusk had descended on him, he forced his weary bones to move. He had forced his way into the house through a side door and immediately gone up to his room to drag clothes onto his body. The tears hadn’t come until later.
He had spent a week or two in this other world, investigating and trying to find out what had happened to him. No leads came up, and none of his former friends nor his lover were to be found. There was nothing left for him in this world. So, he dreamt. He dreamt up tall walls, wrought iron gates, guard dogs, and a deep forest to surround the property. He never wanted anyone to come to the Barns ever again, not for any reason.
Sorrow made a home on his shoulders as he tromped back the way that he had come originally, feeling an ache in his gut already. The change was coming soon, he could feel it. Fur was already appearing on his arms and as he stumbled back into the barrier between the worlds, he retched until there was nothing in his stomach. He was back to his other self now, an oversized black wolf with black antlers.
The only difference was that he wasn't the same Ronan.
"speech"
|
|